Maraia's Rainmaking Blog

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Self-control is an exhaustible resource

I've been reading the book Switch: How To Change Things When Change is Hard, by Chip and Dan Heath.  It makes a number of great points about our emotional self and rational self.  If you really want to see lasting change you have to appeal to both aspects of someone's personality.  

What I found fascinating was this statement: "Self-control is an exhaustible resource."  The authors go on to explain the research to support that proposition.  In other words, we expend energy when we exert self-control.  Based on the work I've done with thousands of people I would strongly agree. We are constantly urging clients to pursue marketing and business development activities that are fun.  We suggest they go that route because they will sustain those behaviors long after they're done working with us.  By contrast, when you exert self-control you are actually depleting your energy levels!! You can use self-control for a period of time, but not forever.  In our view, it's not a long term and sustainable way of operating. Eventually you run out of gas.  

A couple of other gems are worth noting from the book:

"What looks like resistance is often lack of clarity."  We see this all the time with the people we train and coach.  Once we help a client see how to do something (and why) their resistance lessens or disappears entirely.  We've seen this happen even with more senior people who others had deemed beyond hope of change.  If you're running into a wall of resistance, make sure you have provided unmistakable clarity about how and why you want something.  Even better, make sure you help them find their own why.  

"What looks like laziness is often (mental) exhaustion."  To that I would add, "What looks like lack of motivation is often mental exhaustion."  This is related to the first point about self-control.  Too many people rely exclusively or primarily on self-control (or discipline) which eventually leads to mental exhaustion.  The problem isn't the activity itself but how you're looking at it.  In other words, change your mind.  However, when you're mentally exhausted the last thing most people want to do is change their mind.  At a practical level, stop telling yourself "I'm lazy."  More often than not, that's not true.  What is true is discipline will only take you so far.  Instead work on doing those things you have a genuine passion for doing.   You won't view doing them as a chore and you'll have much more fun doing them.  

“Self control is an exhaustible resource.”  In others words, we expend energy when we exert self control.  This has implications for coaching and beyond.  I’m constantly urging clients to do what’s fun because they’re more likely to keep doing it themselves when the coaching ends.  
 
Two other gems from the book (which I didn’t read in entirety):
 
“What looks like resistance is often lack of clarity.”  I find this to be true with the groups we train.  Once we show them how, their resistance lessens.  
“What looks like laziness is often (mental) exhaustion.”  Too many people are relying too heavily on self control which eventually leads to mental exhausti
I read part of another book on Saturday: Switch.  Among other things it contends that:
 
“Self control is an exhaustible resource.”  In others words, we expend energy when we exert self control.  This has implications for coaching and beyond.  I’m constantly urging clients to do what’s fun because they’re more likely to keep doing it themselves when the coaching ends.  
 
Two other gems from the book (which I didn’t read in entirety):
 
“What looks like resistance is often lack of clarity.”  I find this to be true with the groups we train.  Once we show them how, their resistance lessens.  
“What looks like laziness is often (mental) exhaustion.”  Too many people are relying too heavily on self control which eventually leads to mental exhaustion
I read part of another book on Saturday: Switch.  Among other things it contends that:
 
“Self control is an exhaustible resource.”  In others words, we expend energy when we exert self control.  This has implications for coaching and beyond.  I’m constantly urging clients to do what’s fun because they’re more likely to keep doing it themselves when the coaching ends.  
 
Two other gems from the book (which I didn’t read in entirety):
 
“What looks like resistance is often lack of clarity.”  I find this to be true with the groups we train.  Once we show them how, their resistance lessens.  
“What looks like laziness is often (mental) exhaustion.”  Too many people are relying too heavily on self control which eventually leads to mental exhaustion.
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