Maraia's Rainmaking Blog

The Maraia Rule For Relationships

Way too many professionals have people in their network who they don't like and enjoy spending time with.  I've got news for you--life is way too short for those kinds of people!  So I'm going to suggest you follow The Maraia Rule for relationships:  Drop people from your life and/or practice whom you don't like or enjoy spending time with.  You'll be amazed at the added energy you will have when you drop these people from your life.  Firing your worst clients can free up your time and energy for the pursuit of more desirable clients.  If firing them is too draconian, then hand them off to someone else in your firm!  Some would argue that in this economy you need to hang on to all the clients you can.  I disagree.  Some of my clients are relieved when I suggest this and their enthusiasm level spikes higher.  Yet, until they felt I "gave them permission" they kept right on plowing forward with people who drained them of energy. 

If you can't drop unwelcome people from your life, then at least spend less time with them.  If you can't reduce the amount of time you spend with them, then "lean into the experience."  What I mean by that is look at that person as your teacher.  They have something valuable to teach you about yourself.  Leaning into the experience will require you to go inward which is the hardest thing for any of us to do.  The people who bother us the most have the most valuable things to teach us.  Every person in your life is there for a reason and, in most cases, it's not the reason you think.  If you resist what they're trying to teach you the experience always persists and usually gets more painful.  So get on with learning what you need to learn. 

Bottom line: Drop one person today and see if that doesn't give you a sudden burst of energy.  On the flipside, add one person to your network who you'd love to spend more time with.  Make regular effort at reaching out to him or her.  This is a very simple idea with very profound implications.